Behind the Wall

Lyrics

I built this frame from broken nights,
From swallowed fear and sharpened bites.
I learned too young that love turns strange,
So I became the lock, the chain.
I made my chest a guarded room,
No window left, no space to bloom.
I called it strength, I called it skill,
But really I just learned stand still.
I speak in steel, I move in threat,
Push people out before they get
Too close to touch the parts I hide,
The ones I buried still alive.
And every time the silence swells,
I hear a knocking through the shell.
A smaller voice I trained to crawl,
Still trying to reach me through the wall.
Late at night, when the noise gets thin,
I hear that sound again.
Small fists hitting from underneath,
Like something wants back in.
I know that voice.
I know that fear.
I know exactly
Who’s still in here.
Behind the wall, stay down, stay still
I’m still in here, I always will
Behind the wall
Can you hear me
Behind the wall
Don’t disappear me
I built this to keep us alive
You kept me hidden, not alive
Behind the wall
I still call
You grew hard
I got lost
Behind… the wall…
Behind… the wall…


I remember hands that never stayed,
Rooms that taught me be afraid.
I learned your face before your name,
Watched you survive and take the blame.
You took the hits I couldn’t hold,
Turned all my fear into the cold.
You stood up tall when I went small,
But then you stopped hearing me at all.
I never asked to disappear,
To be the ghost that lives in here.
I only wanted somewhere safe,
Not to be sealed and locked away.
You wear my pain like battle skin,
Call it power, call it discipline.
But every time you shut love out,
You turn my whisper to a shout.


Now the static gets louder,
Now the signal gets through.
Every crack in the armor
Lets me bleed into you.
You call it armor.
I call it a grave.
You call it survival.
I call it not saved.
Behind the wall, I kept us safe
Behind the wall, you hid my face
Behind the wall
Can you hear me
Behind the wall
Don’t disappear me
I took the fire, I took the weight
Then let me out before it’s too late
Behind the wall
I still call
You grew hard
I got lost

I’m still… here…
I’m still… here…


What was I supposed to do?
Nobody came. Nobody knew.
I did what had to be done to survive,
Cut out the feeling, kept us alive.
No, you kept us breathing, not alive.
There’s a difference.
You killed the light to save the eyes,
And now you wonder why it’s dim.
I was scared.
I know.
I thought if I got hard enough,
Nothing could reach us anymore.
But I was still in there.
You kept the monsters out,
Then locked me in with the echo.
I was trying to save us
I was trying to find you
I was holding the line
I was begging behind you
I became what we needed
You became what I feared
I was made out of damage
Then let the truth be heard


Behind the wall
We’re both still here
Behind the wall
Can you hear us
Behind the wall
Don’t you fear us
I was small
But I survived
I grew cold
To keep that alive
Behind the wall
Break it down
Behind the wall
Hear us now
Behind the wall
No more loss
You grew hard
I’m not gone
I’m not gone
I’m not gone
I’m not gone