Hour by Hour

Lyrics

[Intro]


I used to think that work could keep the dark away,
Head down, no room to feel, just make it through the day.
I wore my exhaustion like a medal on my skin,
Thought if I kept moving fast enough, nothing would get in.
But somewhere in the noise, the engine started dying,
Now I wake up feeling empty, with no reason left for trying.
Living hour by hour, no hunger, no spark,
Just dragging this dead weight body through the dark.
And now I feel things I don’t know how to name,
Not rage, not pride,
Just hurt without a shape.


I’m out of fumes,
The part of me that held the whole wall up is through.
Now hurt gets out, and hurt gets in,
And I don’t know what to do with him.
The child in me I buried deep
Has found a crack and started to speak.
I used to think this wall was strength,
Now all it does is show me what I never faced.


I used to work so hard I didn’t hear my mind,
Kept myself exhausted just to leave the past behind.
But when that stopped working, I had nowhere left to run,
And I turned into a version of myself I can’t outrun.
Now I’m living hour by hour, just trying to kill the day,
No real care for what I built or what I’m meant to save.
I got too easy to escape through anything that numbs,
Like if I couldn’t feel this life, I wouldn’t feel what comes.
And then emotions started hitting I had never felt before,
Not the anger I could hide behind, but something tired and sore.
Like the child in me called Jimmy found a way outside the wall,
And the man who always guarded him had nothing left at all.
I was supposed to keep him safe, keep the hurt locked up inside,
But I ran out of fuel and now I hear him every night.
Things I thought were gone for good started crawling back to life,
Memories I used to bury now just cut through me at night.
And that’s the part that scares me most, not sadness, not the dark,
Just how little I can feel for things that should still have my heart.
Like my mind already left this place before my body does,
And I’m just here surviving what I somehow have become.
And there’s a younger voice behind the noise at last,
Calling through the wall,
Breaking through the past.

I’m out of fumes,
The part of me that held the whole wall up is through.
Now hurt gets out, and hurt gets in,
And I don’t know what to do with him.
The child in me I buried deep
Has found a crack and started to speak.
I used to think this wall was strength,
Now all it does is show me what I never faced.


There was a night I saw no light at all,
My mind said nothing here was worth the fight at all.
Death came like an answer, but God said I was made to outlast this.
And waking up again felt heavier than dying.
I’m out of fumes,
No strength to fake, no fire left to burn the truth.
Now every crack lets something through,
A grief I hid, a child I knew.
I used to be the one who guarded every door,
Now I can’t be him anymore.
So here I am, stripped down and used,
Still breathing somehow, but out of fumes.

The wall is open now.
The hurt gets in.
The hurt gets out.