A fractured and claustrophobic track about mental noise, inner arguments,
second-guessing, distance, and the fear of not knowing which thought to trust.
They say… your mind is supposed to be a safe place…
So tell me… why does mine feel like a warzone?
Same voice…
…same head…
…but it don’t feel like me.
I don’t know what’s real anymore…
And the scary part is…
…I’m getting used to it.
I wake up tired, like I never slept at all,
Eyes wide open, but I’m staring at a wall.
Reflection in the mirror doesn’t feel like it’s mine,
Like I’m watching someone else living inside my mind.
Thoughts move slow, then they suddenly race,
One second calm, next I’m losing my place.
Every sound hits different, like it’s trying to speak,
Even silence feels loud, every day of the week.
I don’t trust what I hear, don’t trust what I see,
Start questioning the world, then I question me.
Put a label on myself just to try to explain,
But a word doesn’t fix, what I feel in my brain.
Heartbeat… heavy… can’t calm it down,
Feels like I’m lost but I’m still around.
I’m not crazy… I just can’t switch off,
Every thought cuts deep… every breath feels off.
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
If it’s my voice, why’s it feel so separate?
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
Every answer, got a question in it
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
Try to think straight, but it all gets twisted
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
I don’t break down, I just go distant
People say I’m fine, yeah I learned how to act,
Smile in a conversation, keep my thoughts in the back.
But they don’t see the tension when I’m alone at night,
Every shadow feels alive when I turn off the light.
I don’t talk about it, what would I even say?
“That I’m fighting my own head almost every day?”
That I argue with myself like there’s two of me inside?
That I don’t even know which voice is telling me lies?
So I write, slow lines just to let it release,
Every word I put down is a moment of peace.
Not for fame, not for views, not to make it look nice,
Just to prove to myself, I survived one more night.
One side saying “calm down, you’re overthinking again,”
Other side yelling “nah, this is how it always ends.”
“Let it go…” — “No, hold on, don’t forget what they did,”
“Trust yourself…” — “You sure? Or just a scared little kid?”
“Everything’s fine…” — “Then why you feel this way?”
“Just breathe it out…” — “I been breathing all day.”
“Don’t push ‘em away…” — “They gon’ leave anyway,”
“Open up now…” — “Yeah, and what if they stay…?”
Sometimes I don’t even think, I just shut it all down,
‘Cause I’m tired of debating every voice that I found.
I don’t feel like discussing with myself anymore,
Like I’m trapped in a loop, pacing back and forth.
I’m stuck in the middle, both sides feel real,
Every thought got emotion, I don’t know what to feel.
No silence, just layers of voices that blend,
Like I’m talking to enemies that live in my skin.
And the worst part about it, I know they’re all me,
But I still can’t decide which one I should be.
“Is that me talking… or something else…?”
“I hear it clearly… but it don’t feel like myself…”
“If I’m the voice… then why don’t I agree…?”
“Why does it sound like it’s arguing with me…?”
“I try to ignore it… it just gets louder…”
“I try to control it… it pulls me under…”
Self-diagnosed… schizophrenic…
If it’s my voice, why’s it feel so separate?
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
Every answer, got a question in it
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
Try to think straight, but it all gets twisted
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
I don’t break down, I just go distant
I don’t think I’m insane, I think I’m aware,
Of a mind that don’t rest and a weight that I bear.
Every choice overthought, every step second-guessed,
Try to silence the noise but it never lets me rest.
I laugh at the wrong times, I shut down too quick,
Push people away every time it gets thick.
Not because I don’t care, it’s the opposite truth,
I just don’t know how to let someone see all the proof.
So I sit with the pen, let it bleed what I hide,
Every line that I write is a war I survived.
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
If it’s my voice, why’s it feel so separate?
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
Every answer got a question in it
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
Try to think straight, but it all gets twisted
Self-diagnosed, schizophrenic
I don’t break down, I just go distant
